I Hit My Limit Point: Here's What Happened and What I Learned From It!
Lessons and insights from my recent breakdown
The past weekend I hit my limit point - I reached my capacity and broke down physically, mentally, and emotionally. It was tough, but also beneficial: I gained a lot of insights from it and I’m sharing some of them with you today.
In this newsletter, I’ll share the new insights I gained and how I’m going to implement them going forwards.
Even tough and all-in-all I’ve had a very good period and a really good year in general, sometimes I still fall and have to figure out what was the cause of that fall and what should I change going forwards.
My last breaking point this past weekend was a combination of several factors. I was pushing my body and mind too much for too long. I had accumulated a lot of things and had to process them. I had been ignoring the whispers and therefore had to hear the screams.
Even though I’m feeling really good most of the time, on my hard days and tough periods I still find it hard to admit that I'm tired, fatigued, exhausted or feeling burnt out - to myself and others.
It’s challenging for me to admit that I can't do things and be active because I need to rest and recover my strengths and energy.
It’s because partly I don't want to show my weakness. It’s because deep down a part of me still believes that I am good enough and worthy only if and when I feel good and am my best self. It’s hard to admit because I want to feel good and do the things I love. And because I don't want to let myself and others think that there is something wrong with me if I feel tired, fatigued, exhausted, or burnt out.
I’ve done a lot of internal and emotional work this past year and all of the false negative beliefs are not as strong as in the past and don’t influence me as much as they had. But I still struggle with them, especially on those bad and hard days.
On Saturday I had an interesting conversation with someone on social media. When I started to feel bad, I remembered one of my quotes explaining the reason for feeling burnt out and I posted it on my Instagram stories.
“A reminder and note to self: If you feel like you can't take it anymore, it's not because you're weak - it's because you've been too strong for too long.”
That story initiated an interesting conversation. This individual replied to my story :
“When you think you can’t do it anymore, you still have 40% in reserve.”
I knew the quote: it’s was David Goggins’ The 40% Rule which says that whenever you feel you are at your maximum, your mind is playing tricks on you. At that point, you are at 60% of your capacity and you can go much, much further. There is 40% more to go.”
In the past, I would agree with this 100%. As an athlete, I knew that most tiredness and fatigue was mental and that if I pushed through the mental resistance, there was energy and performance of the other side. That’s why for most of my young adult life I pushed through the fatigue and resistance. Until a certain point: Burnout.
Now, I don’t fully agree with the 40% rule. I do agree that a lot of times tiredness and fatigue are mental and if you push past them, new capabilities open up for you. But at the same time, sometimes fatigue and tiredness are real and are a sign that you need to slow down, rest and recover, and if you don’t, you might get in trouble (burnout knocking on the door).
Conversation this individual went on and he wrote that when you feel tired, just push on! He also sent a reel of a monk that explains why so many people today are depressed.
The monk in the video talked about that we as society have become weak and lost the fortitude that ancient civilisations (eg. the Spartans, Ancient Romans) had. In his opinion, mental health problems and diseases are the result of spending too much time sitting and staring at the screens.
This individual went on and said that
“The problem is not in the physical exhaustion and burnout. The problem is that we have too much time to think about what is wrong instead of fixing what is wrong.
Again, while I partly agree with him, there’s an aspect in these arguments that doesn’t apply - to me or anyone who experienced burnout and has been affected by burnout to a certain amount.
It’s hard to explain to people who never experienced burnout: burnout affects you and changes you in some ways that people will never understand and get it.
The energy levels in people with a history of burnout are not as contant and as high as before the burnout. The mood is more swingy and things affect us more than other people. We have to be more careful about our energy expenditure and can’t push past our limits for too long because will we run our of energy and ended up depleted or burnt out.
That weekend for me was really tough and challenging. I was tired, so f**ing tired. I had to spend the whole Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday in bed, resting, recovering and replenishing my energy.
I was afraid that I would burn out - the fear that burnout left in me - because of all the things that i’m currently doing and having on my plate.
But at the same time, deep down I knew that I was going to be okay. I knew I just need a longer break to rest deeply, destress, process accumulated things and recharge my batteries.
And I was right. Afterward, I felt much better and have recovered almost fully.
Over time I’ve learned that the biggest challenges and the darkest times bring a lot of lessons, insights, and blessings.
For me, the breakdown was an opportunity to take a step back, take an inventory of my life, analyse things and change what must be changed.
I took that breakdown as a chance to:
Destress and process accumulated things and recharge
Analyze what I’d been doing wrong: what were my biggest stressors, energy consumers, where and when I pushed too hard for too long, etc
Get to better know me and know where my limits was.
Now I have to options:
Either respect my limits, lower my outputs and not cross them again, or
Raise my limit: with biohacking, some new supplements, substances, etc…
Remember: the biggest challenges and the darkest times bring a lot of lessons, insights, and blessing. Breakdown is an opportunity to take a step back, take an inventory of your life, analyse things and change what must be changed.
I’ll leave you guys with this thought by Aubrey Marcus in a newsletter from some time ago,
“The Winter is a time of rest and hibernation. A time with family and friends, or perhaps the long awaited cocoon. […] This is where the nervous system can find its baseline. Where new programs can replace outdated ones in the operating system.”
Thank you for being here and reading! Until next time, take care,
~Jani✌️😊
Hi Jani. Just got around to reading this. I think your friend who says that there's 40% left has never had chronic fatigue! I too used to push through but I don't do this any more. Pushing through for years has landed me where I am now! Well done you for resting up when you need to, as frustrating as it is.