How Does Burnout Recovery Feel Like?
The pain and struggles of recovering from burnout
Like I wrote in my last newsletter, 2 weeks ago I got sick with a flu during my vacation. It wasn’t that bad, but I was recovering very slowly — or let’s say slower that I would have liked to. The malaise and fatigue just didn’t want to go away.
Then at some point — last wednesday night — I came to the realization that it wasn’t just the sickness from the flu that was causing the symptoms that I was experiencing.
I realized that I’d burned out — once again… And so started the journey of my burnout recovery.
Here are my live first hand experiences of how burnout recovery feels like.
The initial reaction
Contrary to what I would expect, my initial reaction to the realization that I burned out wasn’t too painful — quite the opposite, it brought some sort of relief, peace and calmness.
For the whole previous week, I had been worrying about what was happening to me and in my body. I tested negative for Covid several times — 7 in total! -, the doctor told me that it was a virus infection and virus sickness, but I was worried that there might be something else since the malaise and fatigue didn’t go away.
So when I realized that it was a mini burnout episode, it brought some relief.
Our experience is worsened when we don’t know what is happening to us. It’s the so-called “Fear of the Unknown”: when we don’t know the condition and what is happening, we fear it even more, which worsens the condition.
I have also gone through and recovered from many episodes of burnout in the past so I had the knowledge and experience about how to recover and get back on my feet after a burnout crash.
So that night I made a plan on how to recover from this episode of burnout and went to sleep with a peace of mind. I was sure and convinced that everything is going to be fine and that things will go only upwards from then on.
It turns out, it’s not that simple and easy…
The pain and struggles of Burnout Recovery
The last week was very turbulent: physically, mentaly, emotionally and spiritually.
Burnout recovery feels like being on a rollercoaster. You’re enjoying a beautiful view, thrill and excitement of being at the top of the mountain which is followed by realization that you’re in the void where you don’t have anything underneath you and that you’re speeding and accelerate towards the ground unsure whether you’ll be able to slow down and stop or hit the ground and shattered.
The Symptoms during Burnout Recovery
The initial burnout recovery can be very challenging: it can be very painful physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
General symptoms in the burnout recovery can include:
fatigue that doesn’t go away no matter how much you sleep and rest,
sleep problems and insomnia,
headaches,
heart palpitations,
loss of motivation,
problems with concentration and inability to do mental work,
sense of failure and self-doubt,
decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment,
fear, anxiety, melancholy and depression.
But there are also other symptoms. Below are some that were the most difficult last week.
Fear
Fear can bend your reality and negatively impact your thinking and belief system.
Strong fear is very common in the initial phase of burnout and burnout recovery.
There’s the fear that you don’t know what to do and how I will get out of this burnout state; fear that you will never get over the burnout and that you will never be healthy again; fear about the physical condition: how much can you do so you can strengthen your body and recover and don’t worsen your condition at the same time.
Anxiety
There’s a high chance you’ll experience strong anxiety: in my case it was anxiety of not knowing that is causing you the symptoms and feelings of burnout.
Is it the diet and eating the wrong foods or managing your blood sugar poorly? Is it too much caffeine or too much fasting? Is it poor sleep and not enough rest? Is it internal patterns, negative thinking or a restrictive belief system? Is it lack of passion and purpose? Or is it just the fact that my mind has too much time and space to wonder and is therefore creating problems that are not ever there?
Loss of Belief and Hope
Because of different burnout symptoms you lose the hope and trust in yourself, your body, mind and the power that we hold in ourselves to heal. You start to doubt that you’re ever going to heal, whether you’ll be fully healthy and “whole” again.
In my recent article Will I Ever Recover from Burnout, I talked about how we’re more powerful than we think and believe. Our body holds and has great healing powers inside that can heal almost anything.
But when you’re deep into pain and struggles, you lose the trust and belief in yourself and the healing abilities of your body.
Depression
All these symptoms and feelings of fear, anxiety, loss of belief and feelings of hopelessness can lead to depression which can very negatively impact our burnout recovery.
In the last week, in the midst of those deep and dark periods, I found myself in what you would call a “depressive state” where you’re very unmotivated. lethargic, apathetic and unmotivated to do anything, which can be very challenging.
If you find yourself in that depressive state, it can be beneficial to remind yourself that you’re not your emotions.
Emotions are like weather: they come and go. Just because we feel depressed doesn’t mean we are depressed and that there’s something wrong with us. We are not our emotions, we are not our thoughts and feelings. Don’t let them define you.
The Waves of Struggles
There are also a lot of ups and downs in this first phase of burnout recovery, which can sometimes be quite extreme — and that can be quite frustrating and even daunting.
I learned that in this initial phase of burnout recovery, the struggles come in waves.
Just as you think you’re better, the symptoms get worse and hit you down — both physically, emotionally and mentaly. But when you feel like you’re at the bottom and you feel like things will never get better and that you might not recover and be healthy again, you’re about to make a breakthrough.
So you need to be patient and compassionate with yourself. You need to remind yourself that this wavering of ups and down is normal and that it’s all part of the process: slowly and eventually things will improve.
Take one day at the time
In this initial phase of burnout recovery, you have to take it day by day, one day at the time.
It might be a daily struggle to deal with pain, fatigue, malaise, anxiety and depression, doubts and fear of not recovering.
But encourage yourself to keep going and have faith. Encourage yourself that somewhere out there good health and well-being is waiting for you: there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you might not see it yet.
Focus on recovering, taking care of yourself, making your mind and body stronger, and leaving some fuel left in your tank.
Although it’s very difficult on an almost daily basis, I can see some lessons, “gifts” and things in this burnout that I can take out of and could help me in the future.
I’m forced to slow down, rest and fully recover which will undoubtedly help me be better in the future. I’m forced to work on my internal patterns and behaviors that have brought me to this burnout, which will help me prevent new burnout episodes in the future. I gained new insights and knowledge about burnout recovery that I will have at my disposal when I’ll speak, teach and coach about burnout in the future.
I’m working on an online course about how to prevent and recover from burnout. In the course I’ll teach you everything I learned from my burnout journey, including how to improve and elevate all four pillars of the body in much more detail.
The course is in the making, but you can join the waitlist and get updates on its progress and when it’s about to launch.
Members of the waitlist will get a limited special offer when the course launches, so make sure to secure your spot and grab that special offer!
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Love and take care of yourself, forget about worries and enjoy life! ✌
~ Jani ❤